Past Contributor , Writer

Brian Halsey is best known for his brash tactics and poor behavior during a failed bid to become President of the United States of America. Halsey’s authentic brand of Republicratism saw him take the worst features of both major political parties and support their polarizing extremism.

Amidst the folly, a small grassroots faction and a litany of fraud charges surrounded his dystopian system of tyranny. The list of objectionable doctrines and falsified mathematical applications rivaled that of a Bernie Sanders rally. When Hillary Clinton called him out for being sexist, he made her a sandwich. When Donald Trump questioned his dedication to securing our borders, Halsey doubled down and suggested a wall be built across the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

It should also be noted that Brian Halsey went to great efforts to convince the general public that Ted Cruz was the Zodiac Killer. When asked for proof, he casually produced a manila envelope filled with memes. When interviewed about his inability to produce any substantial platform to run on, he simply responded by saying, “I don’t know, man. I thought the ocean wall was a pretty cool idea. Fucking Obamacare was a thing, but whatever, who am I?

Brian Halsey should not be trusted. Is he a feminist, a sexist, a social justice warrior, or just a narcissistic jackass? The only conclusive evidence points to him being an incredibly salty New York Giants fan. It’s time for society to rid itself of Halsey’s presence.

Stand up and take action, by purchasing enough copies of his new book (HIGH NINETIES) to put him on a permanent vacation, far away from the working class. The time is now.

Buy Halsey's Books:  High Nineties | Snake Oil Salesman of the Week.

Social Media:  InstagramFacebook

Inspirational link:  peterjameshalsey

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